I feel sick. like as if there is a knot in my tummy and i could throw up any time soon. i can already feel, of what i think is fear and guilt, in my throat.

so i tried to be good and went with my mom for terawih. but what happened at the mosque made me feel extremely violated. even when you are covered up from head to toe.. it still happens. girls, DO NOT EVER assume that all guys at the mosque are good. it could be your downfall.

i should have screamed. but i was so shocked that i couldn't react.
talk about stupidity.

and those pictures are still posted up.
i do not have the energy to delete them.. yet.

and so he thinks that he is old enough. wise enough.
well honey, i am sure you are. i am not trying to dictate you.
not even trying to lead your life for you. oh please, dont flatter yourself.

yes, of course i am sad. of course this heart is broken.
while i admit i was at fault too, that i had allowed anger to consume me,
i knew at least; it was because i love/d you too much.

frustration. but never mind all that now.

i gotta chill.. relek uh sista.. maman lai.. gotta BREATHE. meh kiter sit one corner shake-shake leg..

and even if cikgu does not approve of the dance, ask HER to dance then.

i want to play takraw, bowling, volleyball, badminton..
with the balled-up rafia again. being goofy is good. goofy is ease.

10 more days baby! it sounds like birdbay.