Promos examninations' in 11 days.

I've never quite knew how it feels like to try and try but yet never quite succeeding. I guess im blessed in that sense. But i fear the promos more than i fear o levels. Tangible interests at stake. If u screw o levels, at most u'll end up well, in a place where u wont want to go. U screw the promos, man that it. Im so not gonna repeat j1. Not only it is degrading, it's a waste of time. The altenative route would be to go to poly. Which in my opinion, equally degrading. No offense.

Sometimes i feel my presence in AJ has all been a farce. So that i'll fall harder, with tail between the legs as compared to if i was somewhere else.

I can almost feel that im gonna get kicked out.
People like me dont deserve a place.

I feel ashamed coz i always tell others that u gotta fight. To not ever give up. And pick yourself up. At the same time being more beautiful, smarter, wiser then you were before. And in the words of Jade of ANTM, to be a 'soldier sista'.

But it's just so terrible to feel dissappointment ever single time. I gave my all and yet i never quite get the marks that i've been eyeing for or get the marks that i had oh so taken for granted in the past. It's a ridiculous pathetic emotion. I know its wrong of me to think this way but sometimes i feel like asking those who had always failed in their life and go, "So tell me, is this how it feels like to be stupid?"

Im feeling extremely down.
Perhaps due to the flu im having, the pressure that comes from my parents in the form of hope and love and also because im a girl. its only natural. hurhur.

Lookie looook-
:) wheeeee!~
did i say i was down? nyet!
not nemore..! hehheheheheeh.